


Ruined

by lost_spook



Category: The Sandbaggers
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, Humor, Obscure and British Commentfest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 20:26:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7135832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_spook/pseuds/lost_spook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matthew's interests come in handy for once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ruined

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lilliburlero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilliburlero/gifts).



> Written for Lillibulero in the 2016 Obscure & British Commentfest, from the prompt "Matthew Peele, a 'ruin-bibber, randy for antique'."

“I should have known,” said Neil, finding Wellingham back in the hotel, completely unharmed. “So, come on, how did you work out the man was a fake?”

Wellingham looked almost amused. “Not me this time, Neil – Matthew.”

“Well, how the hell did _he_ know? The CIA only gave us the info half an hour ago.”

“Don’t ask that,” said Wellingham. “It’ll only encourage him – oh, damn!” 

Neil didn’t need to turn around to know that meant Peele must have returned midway through his sentence.

“The fellow clearly wasn’t a tour guide,” said Matthew Peele, striding into the room, visibly at his most smug: chest inflated, moustache quivering, and more than prepared to answer Neil’s question. “I made a few interested enquiries about Garchester Hall and first he said that the original manor house was Tudor, and then he had the gall to suggest that its famous Holbein was – even you will find this amusing, Neil – a _Gainsborough_. I mean, can you imagine?” He shrugged. “Really, I’m not sure the man was even trying. A glance at the National Trust leaflet alone would have saved him from such laughable errors. Obviously, I could only conclude that it must be a trap of some kind.”

Wellingham directed a mute look of pain towards Neil that clearly indicated: ‘You see?’

“Admittedly, he was well briefed on the conference itself,” Peele said, and then gave a shrug. “Its setting? Woefully ignorant, I’m afraid. The central hall and foundation in fact date from 1363, although of course, one can understand the error from a layman, as it _was_ greatly extended and reworked during the Tudor era, which is what’s most visible to the naked eye, but the tell-tale signs –”

“Oh, _God_ ,” said Wellingham. 

“There’s a fascinating story attached to that, by the way,” said Peele, getting into his flow. An earthquake might have halted him, but not the Permanent Under Secretary to the Foreign Office. “The Tudor expansion, that is. Henry VIII was due to visit – part of the extensions were built in expectation of that occasion, since the current baronet was something of a favourite, at least in the first half of his reign – the latter is another matter –”

“I think,” Neil said, considering it well worth the risk of later being murdered by his ex-father-in-law, “I’ll leave you two to get on with it, then.”


End file.
